October 24, 2006

lines of red

woosh

when did we make life complicated?
remember
when things used to be so much fun
all the time
when we had not a worry in the world
all the time
thinking we knew who each other was

is it a part of maturing?
u just tend to worry more?
think so much more
and paranoia sets in
makes u think things are more complicated than they seem
after all
the only people that seem to think our lives are complicated
are ourselves

is it in the things we do?
we just happen to take more responsibilities as we age
and we just have to allocate more time for it
making things seem so crowded
or in other words, complicated

and even now
as we are matured
why do we not know
the reason as to why we complicate our own life?
we cling to it
as though we need it
but we don't....

it's all just a facade
but it's not like i didn't try
to see past the mask
to realize why
to try and understand
as to why we act the way we do
but that's just going to have to be
another of life's great mysteries.
it just works.

u were just always there
the relief of fitting into the norms
of actually looking complicated
as though everybody gets to see u mature
and think of u as responsible
and u beam with pride
of admiration
of trust
of reliability
and suffer the complications that come with
it is
but a compromise
because you shouldn't have to

but it makes sense somewhat
there are certain joys in life
that can only be found
through compromise
like studying
u compromise enjoy time
so u have a guaranteed enjoy time later
like love
u give so much up
in hopes of getting some of it back
like work
u compromise a life
so your children would not have to compromise
hope u understand

but then again
all these are just white elephants
that we will end up chasing
until we reach the end
and realize
the biggest compromise
is reaching the end
without ever having to compromise
i'm sorry that i hurt you

love
alvin

today's message was brought to you by the word : RESCUE