inheriting a loss

scars

fall off of me
and take the burdens i carry
along with you
for i don't need them
anymore

peel this skin off
and feel the new
rebirth
and feel the weight on my back
removed

tear off this scar tissue
and let the sore heal
no wound is so deep
that life has to be given for it

pick myself from off the floor
there is life in me yet
for the scars that are left
are but a distant memory
faded with age
but turned anew with time

learning to turn it off
is sometimes not the hardest thing to do


opening new doors is

lines of red

woosh

when did we make life complicated?
remember
when things used to be so much fun
all the time
when we had not a worry in the world
all the time
thinking we knew who each other was

is it a part of maturing?
u just tend to worry more?
think so much more
and paranoia sets in
makes u think things are more complicated than they seem
after all
the only people that seem to think our lives are complicated
are ourselves

is it in the things we do?
we just happen to take more responsibilities as we age
and we just have to allocate more time for it
making things seem so crowded
or in other words, complicated

and even now
as we are matured
why do we not know
the reason as to why we complicate our own life?
we cling to it
as though we need it
but we don't....

it's all just a facade
but it's not like i didn't try
to see past the mask
to realize why
to try and understand
as to why we act the way we do
but that's just going to have to be
another of life's great mysteries.
it just works.

u were just always there
the relief of fitting into the norms
of actually looking complicated
as though everybody gets to see u mature
and think of u as responsible
and u beam with pride
of admiration
of trust
of reliability
and suffer the complications that come with
it is
but a compromise
because you shouldn't have to

but it makes sense somewhat
there are certain joys in life
that can only be found
through compromise
like studying
u compromise enjoy time
so u have a guaranteed enjoy time later
like love
u give so much up
in hopes of getting some of it back
like work
u compromise a life
so your children would not have to compromise
hope u understand

but then again
all these are just white elephants
that we will end up chasing
until we reach the end
and realize
the biggest compromise
is reaching the end
without ever having to compromise
i'm sorry that i hurt you

love
alvin

today's message was brought to you by the word : RESCUE

desiderata

sincerity

interesting word isn't it?
imagine
the one thing in the world that if u could fake,
u'd have it made.
honestly
that's all its about.
its just funny then whenever u do use it
people immediately doubt your sincerity
as though its a word that u read about
but wont exactly hear
maybe
everybody's cynical
to the point nobody believes in sincerity anymore
can anybody tell me what they truly think sincerity is?
or how it should be examplified?

heart and soul sometimes just don't cut it anymore

same applies for most word that end with ty
honesty
i'm willing to bet nobody can be totally
100 percent honest with anybody else
if there was
that person'd either be dead
or made of glass

what bout responsibility?
who ever wants to be totally responsible?
when the shit hits the fan
who gets the blame?
the one responsible....
and if u actually take credit for your work
that is be responsible,
it might be interpreted wrongly
thought of as boastful or cocky.

and yet these are all traits that society tries to instill in us

2 sides to every coin
guess what's important is that u're happy with your side
never compare yourself with others
for fear of becoming bitter & vain
forever there will be people lesser than urself
and people that will seem to have more than u
but u are a child of the universe
and ur place is where it is
no less than the trees
the stars
or that hottie driving the porsche


if u can wake up everyday
and say to urself
u're happy with whoever's looking back at u in the mirror

u've got it made....

today's message was brought to you by the word : BOOZE

right here right now

shoreline

at the shoreline
figuring what to do next
with the waves crawling at my feet
as i wait for the waves to crash on me
and suffocate me
as they build walls around me
will the sand eat me
as my feet get stuck
will i fall deeper
and find myself at wit's end
alas
i will not find out
for i shall overcome
and move forth
for what is
will soon be what once was
and i will be
on dry land
as i await the next shoreline
and know

oblivious

holler

isn't it amazing how music affects us?
mad, the way some words put together can just make ur day sometimes
sure some might say there's other things to music
such as
the soft strums of the piano strings
the pluckings of an acoustic guitar
the beats of a drum
but what gets me the most is the words
words
so funny how one word said one way make such a profound sense
and left to the perverse
turned into a joke
then u have techno
just nonsensical music made to make u move
lyricists and dj's should get together and rave this world

the other thing that i find simply amazing are scents
they say that scents actually stimulate the most memory
so can't remember a thing
but can remember how it smells

i guess memory is a huge thing
we've all read books where people ponder about the meaning of their existence
are we just people?
shells of life
without any character
as all of us are moulded by society into being a character
and if so
what differentiates us?
it's just like the evolutionary theory
some get to evolve and be stronger
and some just die....

but memories
they're something else altogether

have a friend who can't remember much of her childhood
i pity her
it's how i would imagine a clone would feel
living a life
unsure of how u got there in the first place.....

she started a journal to jot down her day to day events

how private are blogs?
imagine if u only gave ur blog address to specific people
people u wouldn't mind talking deep profound stuff to
people u know won't judge u if u told them these kind of things
but
if this people are truly how u perceive them to be
why not just tell them face to face?
is it because u do not trust them enough
afraid of being judged?
being taken as the person with so many problems
that u just blow out of proportion
because thats how we like our problems
blown out of proportion
then we wouldn't give two nuts about what a stranger thinks
funny isn't it?
we care so much about the way our world looks at us
that is our friends, family, acquaintances
but we can completely ignore a stranger's comments
tell yourself
he doesn't know me
he doesn't understand jack shit
he shouldn't judge me
but then again
u don't want ur friends to judge u honestly
what then?

today's message was brought to you by the word : POEMS