pheonix

here i am again

its been awhile
as i've found another way to find relief
learnt a lot of things in so little time

i'm astounded
i'm in awe
i'm petrified
and in spite of all that.....

i am grateful for all that has happened

sometimes just living life is difficult
always falling
and sometimes
you just fall so far down
that as you try to get up again
you stumble to your knees
as your kness are raw
and your palms are scraped
you will find yourself reaching out

for help

and whatever decision you make after that
whatever choices you may put your life in
however you want to jeapordize things
it is this help
that will make all the difference

the most difficult part of all
is ensuring you actually seek this help

what most of us fail to understand
is that this help has always been there
yet
we choose to scrape our knees
and bleed our palms
and at the end of it all
we still seek this help

after the storm
when the wounds are healing
and the callouses and scars have made us strong again
it just adds salt to the wound
to know
how hurt this help must have been
when we didn't first reach out for it

today's message was brought to you by the word : PALOOZAH

about me

the fisherman's son

i am but your son
sailing in the sea
toiling away
for your respect
looking for that moment
of acceptance between you & me

i am but your son
looking for you
nowhere to be found
in the waves of the sea
where are you now

i do the best i can
i want to live
up to your expectations
for you to be proud
of me
at the cost of me

but there's only so much
i can do
when you won't row to me
and for that
i throw the line to you

whose son am i now?

what's the best?

open your eyes

life is so full of humour
amusement awaits at every corner
it is always interesting
at times slow
yet
only as boring as you make of it
maybe even lonely....

is loneliness a feeling?
or is it another form of perception?
we perceive the idea of being alone as lonely
but some people are fine with perfect solitude
even happier in such a peaceful environment
unfortunately
most people aren't
they crave for the attention
they long for the company
they desire for somebody
they look for relationships
emotional attachments
which may be more demanding
than demanded for

irony
the second best form of humour

the word love
only four letters
and yet
sought after by the world over
in an effort to conquer loneliness?
brings about such bliss
and yet
hurt so much you'd give it up
kinda like a drug eh?

and this love we speak of
is it a feeling as well?
or is it perception as well?
how do u define love?
or is it constantly changing?
can you only love one?
or can love of one
be shared by many?
is it as simple as pheromones
just flying around in the air
that tells us who makes a compatible partner
or even just chemistry?
just clicking
having things in common and so much conversation
communication

but let's face it
we were born alone
we will die alone

maybe all feelings are just
very bad perceptions
so enjoy your company
love your somebody
and appreciate your relationships
for you only get one chance in it
after the dust settles
after everything
as the dirt falls on your coffin
you will be so very much


alone

today's message was brought to you by the word : CLASS

idle thoughts

the scouts have it right

be prepared
sometimes just guessing what the worst could be
gives you hope for the best
knowing
that at least in your mind
things could not get any worse
gives you the feeling
like you have control over the ways things will work out
but then again
its more like an experiment done in our heads
we hold certain things constant
and we manipulate some things
expecting proper results
not knowing
its never that easy in life
variables everywhere
we just don't have it in our imaginations
to conjure up every possible scenario
to think of every minute factor that could alter
the way we view certain things

but what if we think
or prepare so far down the road
that by the time we reach there
we feel
we're sort of sure
we know
that it should turn out this way
isn't that what they ask you to do
when they ask you to set a goal?
what if we took a detour
and end up so far away from what we prepared for....
and then we reach that point in time
where you were supposed to be there
we wonder
what went wrong....
bad planning?
wrong decisions?
logistics error?....


lack of imagination


in retrospect
it's all easier said than done
sometimes you just prepare for things accidentally
through thoughts that is
you don't want to
whenever you're idle
and thinking of what will happen next
it just happens
be so good to just turn off your brain
and stop the thinking
why else would people pay so much for drugs or alcohol?
kills so many brain cells
its like the brain was off
and yet
nobody wants to be declared brain dead
for fear of organ theives
the engine's running,
but no one's at the wheel


so all of us should just stop thinking
then maybe the world can be a better place
if we all could get some sleep



today's message was brought to you by the word : THUNK

inheriting a loss

scars

fall off of me
and take the burdens i carry
along with you
for i don't need them
anymore

peel this skin off
and feel the new
rebirth
and feel the weight on my back
removed

tear off this scar tissue
and let the sore heal
no wound is so deep
that life has to be given for it

pick myself from off the floor
there is life in me yet
for the scars that are left
are but a distant memory
faded with age
but turned anew with time

learning to turn it off
is sometimes not the hardest thing to do


opening new doors is